by ThallenBLiving on March 20, 2012
It has become quite common these days for people to drink soft drinks, water or juice directly from the can or bottle. Although this is definitely a step above drinking from a bottle inside of a paper bag (!!!), I still offer up the challenge to find a cup or glass whenever possible. There’s something just a tad bit classier about a lady or gentleman who uses proper stemware! Besides, you never know what germs are lurking on the outside of bottles or cans that have been handled by others. Even aside from drinking in public, if you have a guest in your home, serve them a glass as well. You never know if they are uncomfortable drinking straight from the container too… Just a little food (or drink) for thought!
by ThallenBLiving on January 2, 2012
It’s cold and flu season, so I thought it appropriate to do an etiquette post on how to keep from spreading germs. Many of you live in cities where public transportation is a necessity. In my opinion, this is the easiest way to catch some bug or virus. But, even if you don’t take public transportation, you may find yourself in tight spaces with strangers who feel the urge to cough or sneeze. If you are genuinely concerned for your health, leave the area until the culprit (and his germs are gone) or speak up and ask the person to cover his/her mouth. If you are the cougher/sneezer, here are a few etiquette tips on how not to offend others:
- Cover your cough or sneeze with the inside of your sleeve, not your hand… especially if you must touch surfaces that others may come in contact with.
- Say, “Excuse me…” A little humility goes a long way.
- Use kleenex and hand sanitizer. People will feel much more comfortable if they see you clean up after yourself.
How do you fight cold/flu season?
by ThallenBLiving on December 6, 2011
‘Tis the season for parties! However, it can be awkward to eat, drink and be merry at someone else’s house… especially if you tend to be a bit clumsy. In the event that you (or someone you invited) spill, break, or otherwise destroy something in another person’s home, this is how you handle it:
- Acknowledge. There’s nothing worse than trying to hide what you’ve done. The hostess will eventually find the ruined item, and she may accuse the wrong person. Besides, you never know who’s watching!
- Apologize. Once your accident has been discovered, show remorse for what has happened. Being arrogant only makes matters worse. Even though you may not have served red wine or set out the good china, this doesn’t mean you should make your hostess feel bad for her choices.
- Offer to Fix/Pay. You break… You buy! Plain and simple.
by ThallenBLiving on November 7, 2011
On Thursday, I had the honor of attending the NAACP Legal Defense Fund Annual Dinner. It was an extravagant event held at the Hilton Hotel in midtown NYC. The room was filled with attorneys and other professionals supportive of the NAACP’s mission. My guest for the evening was a lovely Public Relations executive, Tiffany Winbush of Discovering PR. It was a pleasure to be in the company of a PR guru to help me network in a room full of strangers. Tiffany is a pro at breaking the ice and together we managed to exchange business cards with a dozen of the dinner’s participants. Here are a few of my takeaways for making the most of a networking event:
- Approach people who are standing alone. It’s often tricky to break into a conversation that’s already in progress, but if someone is standing alone it is the perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation. They are probably hoping that someone will come up to them!
- Listen more than you talk. People love to talk about themselves. At networking events, get people to tell you all about what they do, their background and experiences by asking open-ended questions. This will allow you to gather information and make mental notes about the similarities you share.
- Tell them how you can help. A common mistake is to ask someone for help, advice, etc. before you show them what you bring to the table. Mention the experience you have in a particular area, and let them know that YOU are someone that THEY should know… As long as you’re not cocky about it
- Don’t be afraid to move on. After you’ve chatted with someone for a while, exchanged cards, and promised to follow-up, don’t be afraid to excuse yourself from the conversation. A great exit line is “It’s been a pleasure chatting with you, but I see someone I’ve been trying to catch up with for a while now.”
How do you network?
by ThallenBLiving on November 3, 2011
Can you believe that this is the 100th post on Thallen B. Living?! I’m so excited to reach this milestone 
As a token of my appreciation to all of you, I have decided to do a giveaway! The gift is a (drumroll please)… $25 Sephora gift card!!! Here’s how you enter to win:
- Subscribe to receive Thallen B. Living email updates by entering your email address in the box on the right. Don’t forget to verify by clicking the link in the first email you receive. If you’re already subscribed, no need to subscribe again.
- Next, comment on your favorite Thallen B. Living post, telling me why it’s your favorite.
- Then, tweet or facebook your favorite post. Make sure to “@ThallenBLiving” in your message to notify me.
I’ll select the winner on Monday, November 14. It’s as simple as that! Thanks for reading, and hopefully the $25 Sephora gift card will be YOURS!
by ThallenBLiving on October 25, 2011
When faced with a tragic situation, each person handles stress differently. Some expect condolences and expressions of concern from both close friends and casual acquaintances, while others may want no attention at all. As a concerned person, what do you do when someone expresses a desire that no acknowledgment be made of a tragic event?
I was recently faced with this situation. An acquaintance experienced a death in the family, but expressed that they would prefer people respect their privacy and not send any acknowledgments. Initially I thought, how could I not send a card or letter to express my sympathy? I write an etiquette blog for goodness sake! Then I took a step back and realized that expressions of sympathy should never be about the sender, but about the recipient being loved and cared for. If a person ever asks you to respect their privacy, the best way for you to show them you care is to do just that. Remember, rules of etiquette should always be discarded if the person they are directed toward asks you to do something else.
Have you ever encountered a situation like this?
by ThallenBLiving on October 12, 2011
For many of us, online invitations are the most practical way to let guests know the details of upcoming events. Although I am partial to mailed invitations, I realize that times are a’changin! (If online invitations are a must, try out the delightful ones at Paperless Post that I raved about here.)
A reader suggested that I also give a few etiquette tips for online invitations, so here they are:
1. Don’t be sloppy. Even though the internet is a casual environment, it’s important to remember that any invitation we send is an extension of ourselves. Online invitations should be carefully selected to match the theme of the event. They should also include thorough and accurate details, including a link to a map or directions to the designated location. Don’t forget to double check for misspelled words and incorrect grammar.
2. Respect privacy. If you are sending an invite via email for a large event, bcc your guests. This will help preserve the guests’ privacy by not exposing their email address to everyone else. Along the same line, remind guests to respond only to you and not to the entire list. Otherwise, some guests may become annoyed by the incessant emails.
3. Make it personal. Follow up the online invitation with a personal note (or email) to each guest, especially to those who take a while to rsvp. Online invitations often seem impersonal and frivolous because they are so easy to create. A personal email from you will let guests know their presence is important and may make a difference in whether they actually show up… and bring a gift
What’s your preference: paper invites or online invitations?
by ThallenBLiving on November 17, 2010
There are so many common phrases people use that are not correct. And somehow, these incorrect statements have become commonplace in our society. Today, I thought I’d share a few so that Thallen B. Living readers can remain a cut above the rest!
#1. My personal pet peeve is when people congratulate the bride on an engagement! The “congrats” should only go to the groom… The bride should receive “Best Wishes!”
#2. “Happy Belated Birthday!” Placing “belated” before birthday implies that the birthday is late, when actually your birthday wishes are tardy! Instead, you should say “Here’s a Belated Happy Birthday!”
#3. People commonly use the phrase “I graduated X College or University.” However, the college or university graduated the individual. So the proper phrasing is, “I was graduated from X College or University.”
Hope this helps to refine your social interactions!
by ThallenBLiving on November 15, 2010
Thallen B. Living has a youtube.com channel! In case you missed this weekend’s update on formal place settings, click here: Formal Dining!
by ThallenBLiving on November 8, 2010
This weekend, I volunteered to hand out sponges to the runners of the New York City Marathon! It was quite an experience! Even though I may never muster up the audacity to run 26 miles on a chilly day in November, I have so much respect for those who do. I especially admire those who run for charities and/or have disabilities.
While standing at the 17mi mark, I had an etiquette epiphany! That’s right, I found a way to tie etiquette into a greuling 26mile marathon. I found that many of the runners were way too focused (or too tired) to stop to grab a sponge to cool off with. That was such a shame because with almost 10 miles to go, these sponges were going to come in handy. So instead of just standing there with a sponge dangling from my hand, I decided to SMILE and MAKE EYE CONTACT with as many runners as possible. In fact, I began to call out the names they had printed on their shirts. This made such a huge difference! Many of the runners, smiled back and slowed down for a sponge. Others who didn’t stop gave a quick nod of thanks for the encouragement. This just goes to show what a difference a smile, eye contact, and a brief word of encoruagement can make for people trying to complete a diffcult task. Hopefully you can apply these techniques in your own life, and help make someone’s day a little brighter!
Oh, and a big shout-out to all the runners who said “Thank You!” for their sponges!!! It was so amazing to see people minding their manners under such tiring conditions… I’m sure they are faithful
www.ThallenBLiving.com readers!
It has become quite common these days for people to drink soft drinks, water or juice directly from the can or bottle. Although this is definitely a step above drinking from a bottle inside of a paper bag (!!!), I still offer up the challenge to find a cup or glass whenever possible. There’s something just a tad bit classier about a lady or gentleman who uses proper stemware! Besides, you never know what germs are lurking on the outside of bottles or cans that have been handled by others. Even aside from drinking in public, if you have a guest in your home, serve them a glass as well. You never know if they are uncomfortable drinking straight from the container too… Just a little food (or drink) for thought!
